eternal sunset..

 

I am really confused these days.. so probably my activity will be close to zero.. also I hurt my right hand so it is really a pain to have the DSRL in the hand. Sorry guys , but.. pray to me.It will help, I hope

beauty from the deads...

MEMENTO MORI

Straine ce adanc si trist privesti
Acest pierdut mormant stingher
Sa-ti iei o clipa sa te gandesti
Cum toate vin si toate pier....

Mi-aduc aminte ca am fost
Candva un suflet calator
Ce nu-si gasea pe lume rost
Si nu-i pasa deloc de viitor

Nici prea multe nu vroiam
Ma multumeam cu prea putin
Cu glasul cerului ce ascultam
Si al apelor ce aici ma tin...

Iar de mi-ar fi zilele redate
Nu cred ca as schimba ceva
Caci ma gandesc c-am pus in toate
Ceva din mine si din viata mea

Si sa nu razi straine acum
Cand iti spun ca viata trece
Si tot ce ai nu-i decat fum
Ce-n curand si el se va petrece

Asa ca ,inainte de a pleca
Straine zi-mi si mie o ruga
Poate intr-o zi imi va seca
Neostoitul dor de fuga...

                                                                                                               20/21.01.2001

Pushing countless times the same button, for nothing. There is nothing new , there is no one at the other end of the line. As a broken arm , the same button is pressed endless.. but you are not there.I blinded you and now I am asking you to show me the color of the horizon and where is the rainbow. I turned you deaf and now I am asking you why are you not  hearing  when I beg for forgiveness . I took away your love , I slaughtered your visions and now I want your rhymes back. I killed you so many times and now I want you breathing. I forgot you so many times in the deepest pain and now I am asking for your mercy. I was your perfect hangman and now I want back the life. I was a sinner and this was supposed to be the perfect novel of our imperfect lifes.  I was asking for a new pen for  a blank page but there were already all the unwritten words of what I was and what we were. And no space left to say what we were supposed to be somewhere in a lost future. I am sorry.

          There is no magical pencil to put back the happy smiles on our faces and all we can do is to throw a grin of despair and suffering.Pain is our last common feeling and the last memory we share. No hope , no dreams , no future  - here comes the dark again , surrounding our last moments. Faith – an empty feeling , poor consolation for the acute sense of end, so close and near to us. The lost colors  of your eyes , the missing smell of your wet skin ,  the vanishing echo  of your laugh – all mixed in your disappearance.  Sorrow and mourning is all left behind in the twilight of what we were – supposed to be the ones of the future  and remained just sadly unforgettable ghosts of the present.  

          How I am supposed to beseech for your forgiveness when I am nothing but an shadow of an tragical past time? How I am still begging  for an wanted miracle when there is nothing but empty space , no speakable thoughts and we found a thousand words of hate and none for understanding? When dreams proved themselves to be nothing but cruel disappointments , why I am still dreaming? We share no longer any ideals and our future is just an black hole sun, a dark bloody sunset… why I am still wondering if there is still an ..”if” or “ maybe”? And I was a silent thieve of your sunny happy hopes , why I am still hoping? How I am still daring to look after your mercy? 

             An inexorably feeling that these are the last days of our lifes  is coming. Wake me up when this world ends. Maybe the next one will be the perfect one which I missed and screw up so badly now. I still am a dreamer..

I noticed today that this page passed 1000 views. Which is totally irrelevant for the big Universe but it makes my a little bit happy. I hope to see one day 100.000 views anyway. So , I would like to use this moment to express my thanks to some persons :

- first is Miruna , who made me put back online this page

- second, Oana , who introduced me to the tai chi group and gave the chance to know some very nice persons and also the possibility to go in the mountains with them ( and make some interesting photos.)

- third , is Scott , because of him I decided to switch from Romanian to English ( and it seems that it was a good idea)

- last , because without this person nothing from here would become real : my (actual/future former ) wife because she is the one who bought me the 55 - 200 lens as a Christmas present ( and it was the most wanted and needed and pleasant one ever ) , she destroyed the old camera so I decided to buy the actual Nikon D3000 which I am still using and also , by dumping me , she gave me a lot of time and space so I can be able to walk all around and to try to become an photographer. Thank you my dear for everything  , and here is no irony. 

And also, thank you to all of you which are passing through the images and my ideas. 

See you again at 100.000 visits :)

   So , it was Saturday again and again it was planned a new trip in the mountains. Even if waking up at 7:00 in the morning is not one of my favorite actions, I was waken at 07:00 and preparing the day being extremely curious about the new roue and the challenges from it. Coffee , shower , all the other , took my bag and I was ready to go. At 08:15 the car was there and we started to the PIATRA CRAIULUI mountains ( King's Rock - some info are here ) and around 9 we were there ready to go. 4 ladies , 3 gentlemen and a looong route ahead us. I was a little bit afraid about this new route in just one week after the trip from Sambata , because I was quite unsure about the strength of my knees and the first 30 minutes were quite painful and several times I took in consideration to give up and turn back to the basis but thanks God, I was able to enter on a walking routine and I continued the climbing of the mountain. Compared to the trip to Sambata and Fagarasi Mountains from the last week, which was starting with a 5 kilometers walk through the forests , this one started very tough , with a serious climbing for 2 hours - 2 1/2 hours until we reach Poiana Zanoaga where we had a longer break and a full view of the mountains.

   The image was really impressive so we headed further to the Curmatura cottage , where we finally arrived after about one hour , around 12:00. Another break before the most important part of the trip , refilling the water , taking some pictures and eating something to gain back our strength and this time I preferred to eat nothing but some glucose because the image from last Saturday when I was nothing but a jelly fish after the break was still clear in my mind. A good decision , considering what came next. We started again through the woods ,climbing and climbing more and more , passing through some small walls of the stone until we reach one of the first clear overview of the landscape , with part of the mountains looking extremely beautiful. There was no time for a too long break because the peak was waiting for us. Only several minutes after, we reached the first ..delicate part of the climbing , with an ugly stone wall which was supposed to be climbed using the help of some steel ropes in order to pass it and that was just  the beginning because for the next 1 hour we went up and up and up through the stones and climbing that wall until we reached one of the most tricky parts , at least for me, because I was supposed at a moment to go down without seeing too much around my legs so I can appreciate the distances and the points where I can put the feet. Finally I passed that area , quite hardly and then I got blocked in a very nasty and scaring area for a guy without any experience on climbing and using the ropes. I tried several minutes to figure out where and how to put my legs and my hands so I can climb that area, but it was quite impossible and for several seconds I freaked out, which is the worst possible decision when you have 40 meters of empty space below you , an extremely ugly zone on right and a 2 meters stone wall in front of you. I needed some minutes to calm down , to try to imagine where to put the left foot so I can have 3 points in order to support myself.Thank you once again Mr. Gabriel for taking my bag! Without the big bag , I was able to jump where I was supposed to go and there were another 30 minutes ( maybe 1 hour?) of hard climbing and climbing and climbing until we were very close to the peak ..just to see an big bad black nasty cloud coming to us and we were totally exposed near the peak. So we tried to hurry up as much as possible in order to reach the peak  which happened around 15:00 ( if I remember correctly). 

   1911 meters high, and there was the peak. I was really happy to be there , to finally reach it even if I have to admit that I was really scared several times and asking myself what the hell I am doing there :d. Anyway , the landscape was astonishing , all 360`degrees so we started to make pictures and trying also to have a break. The cloud which looked so ugly vanished somewhere so we were able to enjoy our time there, having a short lunch also. After half an hour , we started again to walk and , even if I was afraid of the heights , the landscape continued to be just amazing and now , when everything is finished , I am really happy that I was able to be there and see that beautiful stones and rocks. It is a blessed place anyway. Finally , we reached the point where we were supposed to start the descent ad that was a second time when I asked myself what the hell I am doing there because the view was really nice , but scaring for me ,  considering the extreme angle of descending. So , step by step , I started to go down , hoping to reach the flat land safely , which finally happened after one hour or so and around 18:00 we were back at the cottage , that place being the first one where I felt myself safely , after the long trip to the peak and back . My personal opinion is that is better to be afraid of this and respect your limit , instead of claiming that there was nothing that hard and doing some possible fatal mistakes. So , yes , it was scaring several times but one way or another , I was really , really happy and also proud that I was able to go this high and returning safe. The route back to the basis was the same as the one from the morning , and we reached the cars in the evening , exhausted but with some great memories and stories to tell to our kids :). I  have to mention also the short moment of tai chi , when those one which are initiated in made some short exercises , with the mountains on their back , and that was an beautiful image too.

   Comparing this one to the last trip , on Sambata, I can say that that one was nothing but a Sunday picnic trip , even if that one was longer but same time it was much easier. This morning was a really pain ( and still is one) to start moving but .. the feeling is priceless. It was an old dream , which now is fulfilled ,   to conquer the Piatra Craiului mountains. Not an easy one , especially for someone which is not having experience and the needed training , but an amazing trip. And I am really glad that I was able to do it and I want to express my gratitude to all the other from the group for supporting and helping me in this adventure , especially Mr. Gabriel who organized it and supported me all the route , especially in passing that bloody stone wall which almost sent me back.

  Coming on the photography aspects , this time I preferred to use as much as possible the 18-55 mm lens , blaming once again the missing of an filter which once again ruined a lot of my shootings ( but now it is a must to have it asap) . I used for closeups the 55 - 200 mm lens , and also for part of the landscapes and if last time I was cursing the crushing light , now I was begging for some more light than I had. Anyway , I have to mention that a lot of images were made blindly ( with the camera over my shoulder) because of I was afraid of becoming dizzy because of the height but I am satisfied with the results. All the workable pictures are on my facebook account , here is just an selection of the most interesting ones. 

   So , this was an excellent Saturday , extremely well spent , If I can say so. Great memories , great moments, and I will keep them forever. Another dream fulfilled. And , once again , thank you all for support and help!

   See you on the next adventure!