My heart is like a broken cup
I only feel right on my knees

I spit out like a sewer hole
Yet still recieve your kiss
How can I measure up to anyone now
After such a love as this?

   There is a time when you discover that there are not enough words and  pages to describe a feeling which is really astonishing. " Tell me the truth ! Be honest with me! I want you to be sincere to me! Don't lie to me" . And many other possibilities to express the same idea: they want you to be honest , to know what is in your mind and soul.. so they can sell you much better after. I was surprised to see how much is requested to be honest , how everyone is interested in your truth. Just try ! Even Satan will have some moments of doubt in order to use or not your truth. But the others.. just tell them your truth and you are a dead men. They request the truth , they are extremely demanding , citing God and moral sense all the other needed bullshit in order to gain your trust. But just dare to tell them the truth and especially when is not what they want to hear. They will reject you the very same moment , claiming that you are insane , you are a liar , you are lunatic , you are totally out of your mind! Sad but.. true. I noticed this especially on the last months when , being released of some old mentality I preferred to say the truth, nothing but the truth and to assume some mistakes I've done . I have to be honest ( ironically) and to admit that I was shocked considering the reaction I received from the other side, even if I tried to prevent the person that I will be honest. A nest of bees is just like Mickey Mouse compared to the reactions received, not to mention the infamous way in which the other person used my truth. I insisted in being honest , not naive ( maybe just a little bit silly :) and I was honest till the end even I knew that this is not maybe what the other person wanted from me. Its his own private business what  he wanted to hear from me ( maybe some nice stories and bullshits in order to preserve his self - esteem) but I insisted in my decision : nothing but the truth. I was surprised  for a while to see that , if you insist to say the truth , the other is lost, starting to accuse you of mental disorder or every single possible sin and mistake , denying everything and getting lost finally. After some time it became really familiar to me this behavior and attitude , I get used to and it became just an method of opening more and more some nailed eyes. At a moment it became a therapy method : say something which is really obvious and see the reaction. Do something which seems to be something else , and you will receive an precise reaction back , as Pavlov did with the poor dog. Hey, here is a bone , bark! And the barking started quick. Unfortunately , sometimes I also started to bark back and the situation went crazy , as usually. Which is not good at all. Anyway , what I was able to observe is this:  if you know something for sure and you keep repeating it because it is an obvious idea , there are 99% percents chances to receive nothing back , maybe just a good old kick in the ass. Yeah , most of the times you will be named naive , idiot , crazy , insane , bla bla bla but I think is much better to try to be honest with you first , and then with all the others because yes , you might loose , you might get hurt or fooled but also there is a chance , a tiny chance to get some real good peoples around you , some friends.And this kind of friends are priceless.And the price is fair in this kind of situations. And I know that some persons which are reading also the notes from here  ( not only stealing pictures :P ) can confirm this : I chose to be honest instead of saying nice stuff , but lies. And I am fine with this. If others insists to live in a life of lies, is their option. I hope that I will manage to find some real persons and to keep them near me. It will be a huge achievement.

   And  , as an idea about barking: just put a picture of someone's eye which it might be someone close to you , even without pretending this ( is just an eye , damn it , it can be the eye of my mother!)  , near to a melody which is seems to be a question about someone's identity, so the connection is made: the eye is of some girl and I wanna know who is she. So , the barking context is ready. And the reaction is so predictably: some senseless bla bla bla about you and the girl next door and so on  You say: read the damn lyrics ( maybe you will get a clue) but no chance. The idea is ready already , there is nothing to do to stop it. And there is nothing to do about.  Accept it or leave it. I preferred to leave and leave it in that way. Even if for me the message is so simple , or at least it was cause now there is no message at all. It is sad , it is painful but this is it. It is sad to see a God falling from the heaven where it used to be in dust , mud and misery. In a life of lies and self lying attitude. I remember that many years ago I was thinking to the old good gods of the ancient Greece , all liars and cheating guys , addicted to have some fun and heavy drinking , so close to their human companions..how hard it was for the humans to accept a new God , just one God , who was speaking about love and mercy and forgiveness .. such a different story  compared  to their old gods? I have no clue yet , but I can compare to my falling god which is falling each day more and more in my eyes. Lies might help , but for sure they are not healing. 

   So live a life in lies. I am looking for something else. Someone else. And , maybe that eye is the eye of someone else. You will never know that for sure...